Good Gifts (In a Painful World)

That Sunday was the car breaking down twice and none of the Keys family making it to the Christmas dinner because I forgot to drive the truck home.  Dorathea cried for an hour about missing the dinner and Ted and I had a heated discussion.  Then after the heated discussion was over Ted’s mom called.  “Happy Anniversary!” she said.  Anniversary?  Neither of us had remembered.

Really there have been lots of moments spent enjoying this season with my family this year. But, under the surface my spirit has been fighting for the joy of the season.  There have been so many sad things I’ve seen happen this year, people that have died, and evil has pushed at people I love and made us all tired.  Made me tired of pain and weary of the battle to persevere in spite if it.

But then a star day came.  I marked a star on the calendar each week in December.  These stars tell my kids they can open an early present. 

I picked the first week’s presents carefully: little Playmobile sets, one of a Pirates for Jonathan, one of a Pegasus chariot for Dorathea,both from Ted's parents.  

Dorathea was overjoyed.

Then she realized it wasn’t a Pegasus chariot, (a tragedy for the girl who hopes to be a Pegasus someday) it was just a plain old horse chariot.  

Slowly her tears began, they went on, and on, not whiney and loud, just terribly disappointed.  I held her and sighed,

“Oh God is this when they are not satisfied with the little joys I work hard to give them?”  I asked mentally.  There was the pain of this world again, present even when we celebrate.

I told Dorathea to pray about whether she wanted to take it back to the store.  A minute later she said, “I am going to keep it.”

She said, “Here Jonathan.  Won’t your pirates like to have these horses?” Handing him the horses from her set

Then looking at me, “That’s what God told me to do.”

My jaw dropped

Her face lightened and she began to put her set together enjoying the joy of her brother and the choice she had made.

I had been disappointed like Dorathea.  So I got the message He gave to her;

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

God was working in her. In her weakness, her disappointment as she leaned on Jesus.  She did something strong because of that.

The gifts of love I give on the painful days, show the strength of the one who never stops loving me. 

“And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12

I was the joy set before him. 

He choose to join in our pain by living and dying with us. 

He hated, (“scorned”) the pain, But he loves me.

He gives me good gifts in the midst of this world that supercede it’s pain.

I sat with D after she made her choice and helped her rig up a pegasus she had to the new carriage with pipe cleaners (I heart pipecleaners).

 “Look the carriage is even bigger and nicer than the pegasus one would have been!” I said.

And thought, “And we got to put it together, together”

So when I shake my fist at the pain of the circumstance I want verses the plain old disappointments I have, I know He smiles leans in and shows me how to put it all together with pipe cleaners. 

He and I laugh at the gifts he gives that are always perfect and laugh at this world’s circumstances which are always like opening something you don’t want.

Too bad I can’t take my circumstances, the car that doesn't work, the disappointments all back to the toystore.

I'm ready for a really good gift now God. 

  “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?

“If you then, with all your human frailty, know how to give your children good gifts, how much more certainly will your Father who is in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!" Luke 11:13

Merry Christmas!