She follows me. She doesn’t punch me or steal my lunch money. She whispers hateful things in my ear. “You do that because you’re stupid. You are failing because you’re weak. No one likes you because you’re chubby. What are you doing? You don’t have time for that! If you were better you would fit in. See how you’re not_____ enough for them? Too big, too angry too confused. Oh my goodness! Your ideas are lame.” She is loud with hissing whispers. It’s hard to argue but I do, louder and louder till my voice and her voice get confused in my head. I get tired and lie down... for a while. And that’s where I’ve been. But now, I am going to try to do the bravest thing. I listen for to the smaller still voice that says You are enough for those around you. You are beautiful, you have always been beautiful. Clever girl! Look at you go! You are a blessing to everyone who knows you, because to really know you is to love you, because I am love and you belong to me. I am so proud of you!
The longer you lean into me the more you will see The bully always lies but I Am the truth.
Welcome! I am an Artist, Author, Potter, and Queen-Mother of three. I am inspired by my home in the Southwest Virginia mountains, and by my children. This is where I keep my treasure trove of work. Thanks for letting me share it with you!
Oh Allison. Beautiful truths here. Thank you for sharing your struggle. I have always admired you so much and felt so uplifted and encouraged by your friendship... you are a treasure.
ReplyDeleteAllison, thank you for sharing. I'm going to have my daughter read this. She has been battling depression this year.
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for her!!!! I know she is a gifted writer. Encourage her to write out her inner negative voice pray and ask God to answer to them. Then write those down after. Has helped me over and over! Really exposes the lies and brings them to light.
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