Though the Sorrow May Last Through the Night

"He will cover you with his feathers.

He will shelter you with his wings.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

- Psalm 91

The night before Isaiah was born I made a receiving blanket/scarf printed with feathers;

That's because Psalm 91 was my pregnancy mantra.

It was the end of a long difficult pregnancy.  My doctor was sure I was having a 10 lb baby, because my stomach was measuring so big.

I had hoped to gain a little weight, be a cute pregnant lady. I hoped for no nausea and enough energy to finish my part time jobs of  teaching art and tutoring a homeschool class.

I ate lots of fruits and veggies, lots of protein. I hiked weekly, I had a prenatal yoga routine I did nearly every day. The last month I was eating very small meals, but still gaining a whopping 15 lbs that month.

I would often be so fatigued I thought I would pass out. I had stomach trouble for nine straight months. Having never had insomnia before, I was sleeping four hours a night or less by eight months pregnant, often waking up every hour.  Worst of all was defiantly gaining 50 lbs in nine months which left me feeling like a walking globe.

All my little jobs, all the kids classes and my personal activities and interests I let go of one by one.

I confided in my friends and husband that I wondered if deciding to have another child was a good choice. I deeply wanted to go through all early child things again, and wanted my family to enjoy another sibling. But this pregnancy left me wondering if I had bitten off more than I could chew. I was having trouble even enjoying the children I had. One of my kids even started comparing me with friends moms, wishing for one of them.

But God cheered me on
When I prayed and meditated I would hear;
"For (your) momentary, light affliction is producing for (you) an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison" 2 Cor 4:17

When I questioned why couldn't I look like the lady on the cover of "Fit and Pregnant"? He said;
"You are an apple, Allison. An apple tree bears heavy fruit, but that fruit is the glory of the tree in that season."

When I was so often in bed, I would picture myself under his feathers, protected and waiting for His faithful promises.

As I meditated on this once I could hear the quiet voice of  God tell me,

 "Your first child was a child of wonder,

your second a child of intimacy or closeness 

"Your third child will be a child of joy and will usher a season of joy into your family"

Can I tell you one look at him and joy had come? The horrible pregnancy was gone! All that was left was this;

"One may experience sorrow during the night, but joy arrives in the morning." Psalm 30

So I encourage you friends. If you are pushing through a hard season. Don't be afraid to complain to God to tell him your deepest desires and fears. Meditate on His word.  He is faithful and His promises are your armor and protection.