Mourning the Little Girl Who is Grows Up

I watched an ad for a twirly pink girl's dress that said, "Why not give her this while she's still little?" She's already too big for that dress I thought frowning. Flashes of  my little girl twirling in countless dresses, spinning and laughing fill my head. She's not little anymore I think. Sadness fills my throat. Those days are over I think, mourning the little girl she was.

These kinds of thoughts have been happening more often lately. My girl had a birthday last week. I didn't throw her a party this year for the first time ever, but she didn't mind, content with family, a few presents and a couple friends. I am proud of that maturity, but surprisingly I miss throwing her a fancy birthday party, with theme. "Those days are over" I thought. Yesterday I revealed to my husband that I was mourning the loss of those little girl birthdays. He looked straight at me and said, "But there is no loss in Christ. There are even better things ahead."

Then I saw the future; my girl growing in beauty inside and out. Her starting her own life with excitement and hope. Me getting to cheer her on and participate in any way she might need me. Her dad and I watching the story of her life unfold further and further as she becomes more independent and learns to love and be loved even more. Someday her life passing up the lives of my husband and I. As we pass on to the next world we will watch her from heaven, cheering her on, and her legacy. We will cheer from the vantage point of the perfect love and our home with God (not a bad seat to watch from). Then in a blink when my little girl's life is over we will all be together loving forever.

Doesn't sound like something to mourn does it?  I think I may have been making an idol of her childhood. Putting it on a pedestal as if those days are the best part of my life. Of course everyone says they are the best and are gone so soon. I capture photos so my children will always remember the story of thier childhoods. But if I stay mourning the little child and holding up those years as the "best of my life" can I fully value the young lady she is unfolding into? Also how can I move onto the new and exciting assignments in life ahead of ME?

She gave me the note above for Valentine's Day.  In those exhausting little girl days of wondering if I was doing it right or ruining her by doing it wrong I longed to know that she would grow into a relationship that she would like me have a friendship with me. And here I am my dreams coming true. So while I am thankful for the "little girl" I will not mourn her.  She is my daughter, she has grown into a young lady and will someday be a friend. There is no loss, only love.

-Allison