In 1996 at the University Christian Student Center, Tennessee Tech 25 year old Ted put on his best smile, lowered his voice an octave, and introduced himself to an 18 year old girl wearing her favorite grungy Porsche t-shirt with a wool hat. She instantly knew he liked her and she had best not encourage him. Despite this rocky introduction, after a long talk one night at the Student Center, she decided he was a kindred spirit and the friendship of a lifetime began. Ted persued the girl for four years, then gave up and received a call that sounded like this, "I think God's telling me to get married". Crestfallen Ted responds, "To who?" Allie responds "To you!". The peace about marrying this long-suffering gentleman finally hit the girl after Ted stopped trying.
They got married in a big celebration of friends and family in Tn and then moved to Southwestern Virginia so Ted could go to Bible college and pursue a ministry degree. Newly graduated Allie miraculously got a job doing storytimes at the local library. She loved that job for seven years and then with a second baby on the way gave it up to stay home with our two cuties. Six months later Ted lost his job. That was seven years ago at Christmastime they were optimistic something else would quickly come along. It didn't. Then things came along that weren't really jobs but bad business deals at thier expense. Then thier house was foreclosed on.
At this point in the story the road took a sharp turn. When a story bends it looks like a dead end to the travelers. The bend and all that life threw at the little family looked like death. Death to the dreams of prosperity, death to the family, and the husband. Allie raged. There were many nights She screamed at God, "Where are you?" "Why aren't you helping me?". They even had people telling them they were failures and fools to keep walking. But at the end of thier ropes Love was still there. It was saying "You are a person of faith, and of great worth." Love told me my most important job was to forgive. Not lightly forgive but like a woman on a mission. Like a woman fighting for her family.
Ted also fought. Instead of running from the demons that tormented him he faced them. He sought counseling from trusted friends and mentors, He worked on a degree and getting a job when he faced failure after failure, door closed after door closed. Sometimes it felt like it was all his fault and he shut down. But this beaten down man was so brave he kept walking toward Love. Love that told him to forgive himself
Deep depression hit Allie and Ted both in turn. From our church friends and family we sought and received counseling and help. I didn't know if our family would still be together on the other side of that turn, I couldn't see a way to happy again. When I prayed God told me to doggedly believe in Ted so I did. I gave God the worry and he told me to dream.
Dreaming was hard like getting up and running after a bad accident. But Allie dreamed of Ted getting a difficult to attain degree getting not just a job but a calling. She dreamed of our family being financially secure and living in a place her kids would thrive. She dreamed of being worry free enough to pursue her dreams of homeschooling, working with children, writing and creating. She had assurance only that her marriage wasn't working and her family wasn't working, but when She prayed God told me to look the rest of our path with eyes of faith that it would get going on better than it was before the bend.
Ted got a part-time job teaching two-year olds at our Church's Daycare ministry. It was supposed to be just a temporary stint. He worked exceptionally hard at a job where he got hit, pooped on, and screamed at for minimum wage, and some people laughed at that. He felt like the only forty-year-old man teaching in a daycare. Even though he often asked God how in the world he got there, somehow he fell in love with the screamers, poopers, and hitters. He prayed for the kids, encouraged thier parents, he found kinship with the people he worked with. This job was just while he kept applying for one in his degree, but at least everyone he worked with and for were united in thier love for these kids and families.
The daycare was facing being shut down, Ted's heart went out to the children there, to thier teachers who loved them well. He and I started dreaming of what the daycare could be, how our church family could be loved on too. We talked to our church who supported us in this dream, and the leadership asked Ted to become the new daycare director.
Suddenly, Ted has found a ministry that needs all his gifts. I have found opportunity to minister to children and families through stories, music, and teaching. We both share kindness and guidance with the women who work at the daycare, and we are dreaming about ways to expand the reach of this this calling to families in general. We have found ourselves around the curve in the road. We can see what we are dreaming towards again.
Ted got me this quirky watch he knew I wanted for our 15th anniversary. Usually he gets me a sweet card but this year the traditional anniversary gift was a watch, It celebrates a redemption year for our family and our marriage. A few years ago when were down, wondering how we had wasted time and failed at life. Like the Psalmist said, "My eye is wasted away from grief, my soul and my body also.10 For my life is spent with sorrow And my years with sighing;"
"Terror is on every side;
While they took counsel together against me,
They schemed to take away my life.
14 But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord,
15 My times are in Your hand;" Psalm 31
What the enemy meant to use hardship to destroy our family God used to bless us.
When we sought help, we got good counsel from our church friends. They told us that God would make all that wasted time work together for our good.
Now I am realizing my time is not in my hands. I have given it to God. I can't waste it, I don't have that much control anymore. I've given my life to Love. When I feel like I've blown all my time, he still redeems it. My life is a Once Upon a Time story with lots of twists, but the Happy Ending is assured.
Psalm 130, "Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them."
Acts 17; "He marked out (our) appointed times in history and the places they would live. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us."
